all minds: prepare for departure

It is my last day, my flight is tomorrow, but a dose of mental protection is keeping it from sinking in. I cannot imagine being more prepared and yet I feel like there is still something left to do. Something big and important and viciously elusive and I have this dread of be blindsided by it. Writing this now, I have the feeling that it's my emotions that are unprepared. I have alternately said "8 months is such a long time" and "8 months isn't really that long in the grand scheme of things" so many times to so many people, and so now I'm not sure what I believe. I know the time will go by both quickly and slowly, depending on a multitude of factors. Though I worry that it will go by faster for me than for others.
There is a tiny part of me that doesn't want to go. I admit it, even though I am so lucky and people are so jealous, and this whole trip is going to be amazing, I am scared and a part of me wants things to remain the same. It's because I enjoy my life in Seattle, I enjoy being among friends and family and having the comforts that I have grown accustomed to, and yet the adventure thrills me, and unfortunately I am the type that prefers thrills to enjoyment. At least some of the time.
When I was little, I used to have the hardest time getting to sleep the night before something exciting, like leaving for camp or on Christmas eve. I would lie awake, squirming and building up all of my expectations. This could keep me awake for hours. It used to drive me nuts, I would do anything to get to sleep so the day would come sooner. I hope that tonight will be like that, because I need to slow down time so it can be cherished. The last sweet simple night that I will have for 8 months. My last night with Jake. My last night with Seattle, the US, the familiar. Because tomorrow there is no looking back. Tomorrow is when it all begins.